Bitter Lust
by addict09
Summary: Bella/Alice Oneshot turned full story. Bella, as a newborn struggles with lust, love and conflict as her emotions are torn and she becomes confused with her true desires vs. her instinctual desires.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so it's 3:30 am and I just finished writing this. I have no idea where it came from, I don't even know if it's a oneshot or not, I guess it's up to the response it gets. **

**Excuse any mistakes, I wrote this in sleep deprivation. This is highly smutty, so if you don't like that, too bad. **

**The funny thing is, this was intended as being a Rosalie/Bella fic, I have no idea how it ended the way it did. So maybe if I'm inspired to continue I might be able to bring that into the storyline. I'll shut up now. Bla bla bla, I don't own Twilight, annnd GO. **

Being a newborn wasn't easy. The first week had passed without ease, let me tell you. I'd been living at the Cullens, much to Rosalie's demise who only made her opinion more obvious by very un-subtle means. Everyone else was supportive, namely Edward. But I'd been spending most of my time away from him, because if you didn't know, uncontrollable sexual urges were paramount to newborns and after almost completely destroying him on my first day I decided a healthy distance would be best for the both of us.

Although I think I may have overestimated my ability to control said urges.

"Bella, maybe you should stay in my room tonight, not Edwards." A wind chime voice sung.

I had been sitting alone watching TV absentmindedly, anything to get my mind off sex and blood, I'd already hunted twice and it was only midday, not to mention attempted by any means to release the sexual tension, but you can't exactly expect privacy in a house full of vampires.

"Why?" I asked, not turning my head to look her in the eye. We both knew what this was about.

"Well.. I've been seeing things.. more than I'd like to know.. more often than I'd like." If I could blush I would have been, that was one benefit of being a vampire.

"Oh.." Was my intelligent response. I felt her come closer, a metre away.. then sat next to me. I urged myself to keep my eyes focused on the television.

"I think Edwards a bit scared." Alice giggled quietly, as if he could hear.

I couldn't suppress a snort, images of him just happening to need to be somewhere every time we bumped into each other and his little voice breaking when he tried to explain himself were all too pitiful. It almost made me feel bad. Was I that scary as a newborn?

"A bit? He's probably halfway to china after how I've been acting. But it's not my fault, we all agreed on the change.. I just never expected.. this."

"You can never imagine what it's going to be like. Trust me, we've all been through it." I nodded knowingly. Sometimes a friend like Alice was just what I needed. She seemed to understand me more than even Edward. For that I was thankful, because sometimes, excuse the irony, he was just too intense and overbearing. Alice was my balance.

"It's probably a good idea." I admitted, finally meeting her tender gaze. I took a moment to admire her golden eyes, I always loved her eyes. Something about them just spoke to me, so soft yet so intense, showing every emotion she felt. Beauty like hers seemed rare, even for a vampire.

In that moment, Rosalie appeared in the room, wearing a hateful scowl proving that beauty was not only physical. Although I suppose it helped. She knew it too, bearing most of her skin covered merely by a tank top and extremely tight bike pants. Her body matched that of an elite athlete, so toned and strong, it made me wonder- no. No, no, NO. Damn newborn sex drive.

I'd obviously made a fool of myself, (yes it happened no less often even in my vampire form) because she'd stopped before picking up a pretentious magazine only to crease her eyebrows and glare at me in disgust. I tore my eyes away at once out of pure fear. She fucking scared me, I had no doubt she could take me on in a fight even with my increased strength.

I heard her scoff as she returned upstairs to her room.

I averted my eyes to see Alice starring at me with a curious expression, only for the slightest moment until she spoke.

"Well I'm going to hunt, do you want to come?" I wondered if she was the mind-reader of the family.

"Yes." I almost yelled. She giggled melodically at my strange behaviour as I followed her into the woods, one thing prodding in my mind that I couldn't ignore.

I took a shower that night before Edward got home (Alice had informed me) so that I could occupy myself while he hid away for the night. I felt partially humiliated by the fact it was to this excruciating extent, but I actually feared for what I might do. Instead, for the first time that day, which was a long time to wait for a newborn I unleashed my sexual urges. With my new found speed and stamina I discovered a whole new world of masturbation. For the past few days it had been my addiction, I couldn't stop. I knew everyone was aware of it, but I didn't care. I slid one finger inside of myself, then another. I started slowly, to tease myself as I already came close to my climax. It felt like months, even years since my last orgasm, but in fact it was less than a day. A soft moan elicited from my lips as I penetrated myself with more force. I could feel myself convulse and tighten, if possible, I increased the speed. The room around me became a blur, my mind focused only on the incredible pleasure, I could hear, smell and feel my juices, so wet. So close.

"Bella." The voice caused me to jump and almost injure my insides. Immediately I found my composure.

"Yes?" I answered, my voice a few octaves higher than usual.

"Oh, sorry. I was wondering where you were, you've been in there for ages." Alice replied.

I was going to make her pay for this.

"Oh.. my bad." Another smart response. I should really write these down.

"Edwards been asking for you." I froze. Good timing buddy. Really, spot on.

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute." I contemplated finishing what I'd started, but it would be too obvious now. Fucking Alice and fucking Edward. Fuck. Did they want me to become even more aggressive?

I turned the water off and got changed into a jumper and track pants, I certainly didn't need to feel sexy at a time like this.

I entered the living room and the awkward stares I received were self explanatory. Humiliating much? I could have died on the spot. Alice hung her head in shame. Then I met Edwards gaze, who wore an extremely uncomfortable expression.

Thankfully Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett had enough consideration to pretend to be occupied, but their grins were all too obvious. Save Jasper who looked equally as uncomfortable as Edward. Poor boy, he had to endure my outrageous emotions, including unmistakable arousal which I was obviously reeking of.

"I- uh" Edward stuttered. I knew he was awkward about things like sex, but really? He was 104 years old for gods sake.

"Perhaps we should talk upstairs, alone." He said, aware of the tension in the room.

Well my friend, unless you want to be raped then I'd probably advise you not to suggest that. I looked to Alice for support.

_Maybe that's not the best Idea. _Alice thought.

Edward snapped his head towards the smaller vampire, he looked deranged. It must have been my scent.

_Why don't you go hunt? _She persuaded, then looked to Jasper for help.

Suddenly Edward calmed, then in a flash was gone. It couldn't have been that tempting. Sometimes he acted as if I was still a human.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Alice beamed.

A loud snort came from Rosalie's direction.

"I do recall a time when you yourself were a newborn Rosalie, remember that time you and Emmett-" But she was cut off my a hostile growl and Rosalie rising to her feet. Shit was bound to go down. There was one rule of survival in the Cullen residence, don't piss Rosalie off.

"Ooh, not so funny now is it?" Alice teased. Now it was my turn to laugh.

Bad idea. Now those piercing eyes were shooting daggers in _me_. I straightened my face as quickly as possible and instinctively stood still.

"Well at least Emmett can handle me, unlike your little bitch Edward." The room was dead silent. All humour was lost and now both of us were fuming. My protective side kicked in now as I released a growl and my lip curled bearing my teeth.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and took a brave step in my direction, I stood my ground. She may be an intimidating bitch but I had a bad side too and if she wanted to see it, she was certainly going to.

"Oh, bring it." I challenged.

"Stop it!" Alice demanded, but neither of us listened.

Rosalie was now so close, centimetres away so that she just barely stood taller than me, daring me to make my move. I could sense her anger but was interrupted by an alluring scent of cherry and vanilla that distracted my thought process by a sudden elation, my mind felt tipsy with the overwhelming charm, was she intentionally doing it? Did she have some power I was unaware of?.  
"Don't push me Swan." Her words were loud and clear, laced with threat. But this time I wasn't scared. I was more intrigued by the rasp of her usually velvet voice.

Before I could find myself questioning more about the situation, she had stalked off to her room and slammed the door for good measure. Emmett followed her like a puppy.

"Wow.." Alice whispered adorably. She looked genuinely awe struck.

"It's just Rosalie." I reminded myself more than her.

"What's the worst she could do? Throw me against the wall and-" Awkward pause. Think Bella. Think. "Pound me to death?" Bad choice. Bad choice. Don't notice, oh please Alice, don't notice.

"Hah, yeah." She commented absently. I really hoped that meant she didn't notice.

"Maybe we should go to my room now, where it's safe." I chuckled. She was cute.

"Good idea."

"Pleaaase?" Alice begged  
"No Alice! It's stupid." Her eyes twinkled with a sadness I couldn't ignore, she knew I couldn't resist that look.

"Oh if you think that's going to work, think again." I sat back against the bed and attempted to look away.

She perched herself on her knees at the end of the bed and continued to pout. My eyes shifted back and forth from her, trying to resist.

"Oh fine! Just stop with the pouting!" She beamed and with childlike giddiness skipped over to her drawer and got a brush. Honestly, what was her fascination with brushing my hair? I tried to convince myself that I didn't like it because I knew it would only satisfy her, but if only she knew my head was indeed one of my weak spots.

I sat forward so that she could sit behind me, her legs crossed and just touching my lower back. She began to stroke my hair with her fingers first, she always did this, it soothed me. Her fingers were so soft and tender. They were familiar to me and knew just how to make me feel relaxed. Even in the height of my sexual frustration.

"Hey Al?" I spoke before I thought.

"Yeah?" She replied.

"Could you um, massage my head?" What? It had been a long week, cut me some slack.

"Okay, but you need to relax first, you're really tight." Shut up thoughts. Shut. Up!

Suddenly she parted her legs and moved back slowly so that my head was resting on her chest. If I had a heart rate, it would have been out of the roof. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Especially since it hadn't even begun yet.

Her expert fingers kneaded away the tension with the perfect amount of pressure, I felt my body melt into hers. She started near my neck, in circular motions, then slowly made her way up towards my temples. After a minute or two I felt an odd vibration and my eyes shot open in surprise.

"It's okay." She whispered, then giggled. "You're just purring."

"What the hell? Like a cat?" How random. Although I should have known, Edward had done it once or twice before now that I thought about it, but only in extreme circumstances.

"Shh. Just relax." She cooed. And like that I felt the wave of pleasure seep through my skull again as she kneaded away my confusion. This time I allowed the purring, I couldn't exactly stop it. It felt so good. I could have stayed like that forever, but suddenly she stopped, and I stopped purring.

"Wha-"

"Uh- sorry. I um, nothing. My fingers are sore." Did vampires ever get sore or tired? Especially from five minutes of head massaging. I felt like I'd done something wrong, something had made her uneasy.

I felt an unusual warmth between our bodies as I fell back into reality, my back almost burned and all at once I became aware of an undeniable scent in the air that turned my animal instincts on overdrive. I sat up and sure enough the scent was Alice. I'd never smelt it before, it was like a sweet musk, I took it in with a deep breath and felt a wave of stimulation excite my senses. I wasn't me anymore, and there was no control.  
I found myself within the next millisecond on top of Alice with my nose burred in her neck, engulfing her scent, but it wasn't enough. She lay there frozen in fear, but I didn't notice, I was too determined by the overwhelming desire for her, she finally moved, attempting to push me off but I didn't like that, not at all.

She was mine now, I needed her. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head, her eyes screamed mercy but I wouldn't have it. God she smelled _so fucking good_.

I no longer purred, but growled with hunger and want.

"Bella.." She whimpered. But this wasn't Bella, Bella was long gone.

I dipped my head into the crook of her neck again and before I knew it, my lips, tongue and teeth began to ravage her skin in a frenzy. It was her fault I was like this, I could have released this arousal hours before, but no. I said she would pay.

My hips involounatrily began to grind against her smooth body. Her resistance stopped as her head flung back in pleasure.

"Mmmm, good girl." I purred into her ear, there was something so satisfying about dominance. It only fuelled my desperation.

I _would_ have my way. The throbbing between my legs was completely maddening, I could smell how wet I was, and undoubtedly she could too.

"Fuck.." She whispered as the friction between us increased. If she kept that up I was most definitely going to loose my shit. I felt pure fucking ecstasy from her writhing and moaning, I needed more, I was completely turned on by this point, my only thoughts were of lust and want. She looked so damn good beneath me, I would make her beg for me.

I released her wrists only so that I could put my hands to good use, and incase she used it as her moment to escape, I let no time for her to even think it. Immediately my hand cupped the outside of her shorts and made sure my fingers pressed against her most sensitive spot. Her eyes bulged and her back arched as she quivered and choked on air. The site was so sexy, to see her in pure pleasure, but I wanted to fuck her, until she shook and screamed my name, cumming all over my fingers. The thoughts wouldn't leave my mind, somewhere deep down I knew this was wrong, but my instincts had to have her. Nothing else mattered.

I slid her panties to the side without a second thought and brushed my fingers over her drenched cunt.

"You're so wet." My voice had an uncharacteristic rasp to it. Nothing but lust could have done that.

Alice responded by clawing at my back, not too hard, but enough to drive me further into insanity. I teased her folds, smirking as I watched her eyes darken with desire. I pressed my lips against her chest and made a trail down her stomach until I was just below her belly button. I nipped playfully at her waistband, causing it to snap. She let out a sharp moan as I took the moment to brush a finger against her clit.

"Please.." Oh that's right, you fucking beg, whore.

"Please what?" I teased, trailing kisses down further until my head was in between her thighs.

"Fuck!" She moaned as I began to rub press down on her clit with more force.

"Answer me." It was a demand. I made sure of that.

I took my hand away when I heard no reply, and just as expected she responded.

"Fuck me.." Oh God.

"Sorry what?"

"Please!" She was desperate now, right where I wanted her.

"I can't hear you."

Obviously I was wrong.

To say the next thing she did shocked me was an understatement. Alice sat up, grabbed me by the shoulders and somehow managed to top me and was now an inch from my face with black, hungry eyes glaring at me like I'd never seen before. I could have came on the spot.

"I said-" She leaned into my ear. "Fuck. Me." My eyes rolled into the back of my head and this time I was the one to moan. Innocent little Alice wasn't so innocent after all.

I couldn't disagree with her impatience, I had to have her. Right now.

I flipped her over to command dominance and ripped her pants off, threw them across the room and slid two fingers inside of her. She growled and dug her nails into my back as I began to fuck her. I was merciless as I inserted a third finger, intent on making her scream my name. Her moans filled my ears like sweet music, I felt my own climax begin to build, I was completely blind with arousal, she became louder each time I penetrated her, she was so wet, I needed to taste her. Just as she was about to cum, I pulled my fingers out.

"Please!" She begged. "So close.."

"Beg me!" I demanded, bringing my mouth down upon her soaking cunt.

I let my tongue lightly caress her folds, circling her clit, but never touching it.

"Oh my-" She began to convulse.

"Uh uh. Not yet."

"Please, I can't-" I dove my tongue inside of her, tasting her sweet cum. I couldn't get enough, it made my head spin.

"You taste so fucking good."

"Fuck, Bella." she pulled at my hair.  
"Mmm, fucking beg for me. Moan my name you slut." I flicked my tongue over her clit, then completely assaulted it, licking and nipping, drunk from her taste and scent.

"I'm going to cum.." She trailed off. "Oh my fucking God, Bella, keep going!" Oh and fuck did I keep going.

I couldn't take it anymore, I was going to cum with her, it was seconds now. Her hands gripped my hair harder, pulling for dear life as a wave of ecstasy consumed us both. All I could hear were incoherent moans and curses that I'd never imagine to come from her sweet mouth as my orgasm only grew stronger. Her cum drenched my mouth as I continued to lick and bite her clit even though I knew she couldn't take anymore. She twitched and convulsed like crazy, I heard her call my name and that did it, it never seemed to end, the pleasure was so excruciating now that I almost begged for it to stop, it was unlike anything I'd ever felt.

"Let me taste my cum." She pulled me up and just like that, forced our lips together with an aggression that caused an aftershock of my subsiding orgasm.

The feeling of her lips was almost enough to send me into another orgasm, she kissed with such passion that when her tongue entered my mouth I returned it with my own, challenging her in a game of authority. They fought together for what seemed minutes until finally both of our orgasms had ended.

Lost of all of my energy, I fell beside her and closed my eyes, still tasting her sweet tongue in my mouth.

Neither of us spoke for a very long time. I feared what would happen when she returned to her right mind. I wondered if she'd regretted it as much as I did. When I found Bella again, I was horrified. I had just fucked my best friend, what the hell had I done? I felt so ashamed. She was going to hate me.

I didn't even want to know what she was thinking.

"Yeah, you probably should have slept with Edward." She finally spoke.

And I couldn't tell whether she was serious or not. But that was among other things I didn't want to think about.

"I don't know what that was.."

"Newborn sex drive. It's not your fault Bella, I'm the one who let it happen. Blame me if anything."

"Why did you let me?" There was another long silence.

"Alice?"

"I don't know, okay." She sat up, and now I could see her beautiful feature contorted with sadness. I couldn't let her be like that.

Her eyes twinkled with confusion and regret, and it was all my fault.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, I felt defeated, it was over. Things would never be the same.

"Just go- please, I need some time." And for the first time, I felt what it was like to have my heart broken.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the feedback! It's greatly appreciated. I know I've made you wait but it's still one week until holidays. So I'll try to keep this story going, this chapter came from nowhere, just like all of my inspiration does. I actually wrote a whole chapter then scrapped it and wrote this. Don't worry, this one is a LOT better. (I hope). Keep up the inspiring reviews :)**

"Alice, it'd be stupid to think no one just heard that, do you really expect me to just leave? Alone? You can't act like this is completely my fault." And there was the scary side of Alice, glaring dangerously at me.

"Well, I started it.. but.. it's not like you stopped it." I struggled for the right words, but there wasn't anything right about the situation.

"Okay, obviously we can't deny it, and I'm not going to be those people who go around ignoring each other because it's too awkward to address whatever happened." But her face seemed blank, and most of all, her eyes were unreadable. She couldn't even look at me.

"Ugh, fine. It's all my fault, you hated it. I don't even care if anyone knows because obviously it was nothing." There she was again. Her golden eyes boring into my own glistening with tears that would never fall.

"So you just used me?"

"Well when you put it like that.." Had I used her? "No- I- well, I would never hurt you-"

"But you'd just practically rape me out of nowhere for the pleasure of it." Her voice slightly raised as tensions rose.

"Last time I checked it isn't rape when the victim demands for you to fuck them." Awkward.

"After you made me-"

"Made you?" We were both standing now, although keeping our distance.

"You're acting like you had no say in it. You could have said no at any point."

"Before or after you pinned my arms above my head?"

"Aw, but you looked so cute and helpless." I taunted. If she wanted to play dirty, so would I.

"Shut up!"

"It's okay, most can't resist my charm." She scoffed at my mock arrogance, folding her arms in disbelief.

"You're so cute when you're angry."

"You're so annoying when you're- you."  
"Good one."

"Thanks."

"You so liked it." I suppressed my laughter as she looked at me, more awe-struck than before. What can I say? I'm a shit stirrer.  
"Aww, that's cute. You two should go out." It was only a matter of time.

"Piss of Rose." Alice spat.

"Now, now. No need to be rude." I didn't like her tone. That was the tone that meant she was up to something. She sashayed into the room, every move she made was like an extravagant show. She sat down on the bed, elegantly crossing one leg over the other.  
"Well?" I asked, impatient with her mind games.

"I know what you two did."

"Do you want a medal?" She glared back at me. But I didn't care, she had no reason to rub this in our face.

"Well, I'm sure you'd like to know that I'm the only one who knows."

"How?" Alice managed before me.

"You should really be thanking me. Lets just assume that I knew something would happen tonight in which case I convinced everyone to go out."

"That seems a bit extreme. Even for you." I spoke.

"Well not when you think about the benefits." Both Alice and I didn't like the sound of that. It was clear on our faces, as was Rosalie's smug smile.

"You'll know them when I want them to be known. For now, all you need to know is that no one else knows."

"I _know_ that you need a hobby."

"This is my hobby. Now, politely excuse me from your room." Alice's eyes widened and she looked repulsed. Like she'd seen something particularly disgusting.

"Please leave the fucking room or I'll kick your sorry ass."

"I bet Edward would love to know what you two did." Oh, blackmail. That's how it was going to be.

"I'd rather the whole world masturbate to an Alice/Bella sex tape than to ever be your fucking slave."

"Oh, cool. Make it while I go tell him." She got up to leave, but as she did Alice's' eyes begged my own to stop her. Was I supposed to resist?

"Wait." I couldn't keep the shame out of my voice as the blonde turned to face me expectantly with her arms folded.

"Rosalie, this isn't a game. People will get hurt, so could you please, _please_ just be considerate for once and keep your mouth shut? It was a mistake, and neither of us want to hurt Jasper or Edward." I tried to plead her further with my eyes but knowing full well that that wouldn't work I waited nervously for her response.

"For however long it stays a _mistake _I'll keep my mouth shut." And with that comment she slammed the door behind her on the way out. But I was more preoccupied with what her words meant. _For however long it stays a mistake. _Echoed in my head. But I had no choice but to believe it was a mistake, because it was. I was marrying Edward and that's how it was going to be.

I couldn't stand being around her any longer, for some reason it pained me the longer I was there in her presence.

"I'm sorry." I said, not bothering to look at her as her sad expression would only make me feel worse.

"Me too." She small voice spoke after a while.

"Lets just pretend this never happened, there's too much at stake." My voice shook as I stared at the carpet. "Things can just be as they were, we can still be best friends, right?" I made the mistake of looking up.

Her expression screamed no, that won't work at all. But her sad voice muttered an unconvincing yes.

"Cool, well. Yeah.." I turned to leave, and she didn't stop me.

Sometimes the things that don't happen at all are the most hurtful.

Because when I opened the door to leave, I was leaving that chapter behind, never to be mentioned again, and when the door closed, I shut my eyes and when they opened it was back to the past. It had never happened, but something told me I wouldn't be forgetting it for a long time.  
Everyone got home not too soon after that. I didn't even ask where they had been, I didn't think I could even face Edward.

"Bella?" I heard him call as I now sat alone in his, or _our_ room. I couldn't reply.  
It wasn't long until he found me, meaning a matter of seconds.

"Is something wrong?" He came and sat next to me.  
"No, why?" I answered almost too quickly.

"I can't read your mind, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid." _Read this smart ass, go the hell away.  
_But of course he didn't.  
"It's nothing. Can't you just lay off for once?" I stood up to move away from him. The proximity made me feel guilty. This wasn't going to be easy.

"It's okay to feel this way, most newborns go through rapid mood change." Oh if only he knew.

"Exactly. It's nothing." And then there was a very long silence, you could cut the air with a knife.

It was rare we fought over something so trivial, and when we did it usually meant things were worse because there was no reason for the fight. It had been this was ever since he proposed the day before he changed me.

"I booked dinner for us tonight, I thought we could use the time to just relax and spend some time together." Oh yes, that's right, speak in that suave voice to seduce me into letting you persuade me.

"I don't feel like going out Edward, remember, blood lust, humans, newborn. They don't really go hand in hand." He smirked. I despised it. Is is clear by now that I despise smug attitudes?

"Yes, that is true. Okay, I'll think of something better."

"No, Edward. I don't have the energy." Obviously I did, but not for him.  
"What if we have a movie night? All of us? Then we can stay here, it doesn't just have to be us alone and you can get your mind off things." I was almost to stubborn to answer, but I slowly turned to look at his begging eyes. They were nothing like Alice's'.

"Fine." He beamed. It was charming, but I couldn't admire it like I used to. It was all different now.

Hours passed, I got no older. Waiting for the inevitable 'movie night.' As I stayed a good distance from watching eyes and certain dangerous pixies. I ignored the constant nothingness I felt, as I could do no more to stop it, until dawn broke and the skies turned dark to unite with my heart of black.  
When the time was fit I stood to my feet, sighing and unneeded breath to rid of the looming events ahead. I imagined the eyes, all three sets, Rosalie, Alice and Edward, watching me like an untrained dog. This would not only be unenjoyable, but uncomfortable beyond doubt.

Upon my last step, emerging from the staircase I peered cautiously into the crowd. Each Cullen sat and lay in their rightful positions. Rosalie and Emmett, curled together in a one-man fold out lounge; Carlisle and Esme, sitting beside one another on a three-man lounge situated in the middle of the room, and then to the left the sight that struck the hardest. A fragile, raven haired beauty laying her delicate head against the cold chest of her mate who clutched his arms around her protectively. His muscled flexed, and then I realised why. Jaspers eyes met my own as after what must have been too long that I'd looked at his wife. What was worse was that he could sense emotions, and what I'd just felt wasn't friendly.

I played it off with an innocent smile and walked over to my own fiance in which the whole time Jaspers eyes remained upon me, glaring. This is what I meant by uncomfortable.

"Hey." Edward whispered lovingly as I reluctantly fell into his embrace.

He'd set out a blanket and pillows, seemingly romantic attempts, unseen due to my tribulations.

"So what first?" He projected to the whole family.  
"I think Bella should choose." Esme spoke first, in a warm tone that would always make me feel loved.

I looked down at the assortment of DVD's. I didn't much care, I picked up the first I saw and handed it to Edward.  
"Moulin Rouge?" He asked in disbelief.

"Ughhhhh!" Emmett grunted in annoyance.

"Hey!" Rosalie smacked him playfully. "I like it." He folded his arms in a childlike manner.

It's not like I even knew what I'd picked. I hadn't even seen it before, but now that I looked more closely at the cover my regrets kicked in.

_From the Director of Shakespeares, Romeo and Juliet._

Great, this wouldn't happen to be ironic at all.

Ten minutes in I didn't know whether to be scared or to just accept the bizarre events of the film. A writer obsessed with love, retelling the story of the events leading up to his loves death. I picked a happy one.

As an awkward scene played out, of the Courtesan, Satine rolling around moaning for Christians 'dirty words' I had to look away. I looked to Alice, who sensed me immediately and looked back at me. Her eyes even glistened in the dark.

She lay to the left of me, not but a metre away. I had an urge to be laying in her petite arms, rather than masculine arms that dug into my ribs. We had a silent conversation, a craving desire to do unspeakable things to each other. Again. I knew this because one look said a thousand words, I could feel it.

_Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever seen. _I heard the character sing. At this my lips twitched into a smile, how relevant. I stared further into her eyes, as if to say, _bitch, your eyes are the fucking sweetest, I don't know what that guys going on about, he musnt have met you. _But that seemed a little too specific to relay into one look.

For the remainder of the movie, I stole a glance or two at her beautifully illuminated face. A treasure of the night, a most beautiful ornament of creation, to say the very least. For a moment the darkness told not of nothingness, but became everything.  
My black heart clenched with the constant reminder of a thing that could never be, a thing that _shouldn't_ be. Why did I have to be Romeo? Or Christian? Alice was a delicate flower, untouchable and angelic. In comparison to her I felt worthless and unworthy. Jasper was that damn Duke, or Julietes father. Wanting the best for her, but unable to see her true beauty.

I watched as Satine died in Christians arms, a love that was never meant to be, but fought for until her dying breath. It was then I couldn't stand to be in his arms. I shifted from his embrace, causing some heads to turn in curiosity.

"Sorry, was just uncomfortable." I said, seeing the hurt on his face out of the corner of my eye. Then Alice's expression of annoyance at my blatant display of discomfort, although she knew it to be mental, not physical.

I didn't want this to be happening, I didn't want to be feeling this. Mere hours ago we agreed to end whatever happened and whatever emotions went with it. But I don't think we were honest about what underlying feelings may have formed, or maybe we were unaware, up until now.

I couldn't feel this though. It was just lust, at the most, and it had to stop. I simply admire her beauty, that's it. Envy perhaps. Not attraction.

I was about to excuse myself as the movie ended, but couldn't find a reason or the energy to bother. In the minutes of contemplating the next movie, I suddenly felt Alice shift towards me.

"Are you okay?" She whispered. I wished she didn't.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered. Although everyone knew those words were subtext for 'no, I'm not, but obviously I don't want you to think I'm not because that would mean I'd have to be honest.'  
"Well you look unhappy. So I'm sitting with you through the next movie." Both Edward and Jasper hardly took this as unusual. We'd been close prior to our little occurrence, but they'd never know. Thank God Alice was better at controlling her thoughts than I was at controlling feelings.

She pulled a blanket over us as we sat against the lounge between Edward and Jasper. I felt a shock as our arms touched and knew this would be interesting.

"Let me choose!" Emmett boomed.

"Fine! But no Saw movies." Emmett rolled his eyes. "Fine, Paranormal Activity."

"Are you serious? That's so crap!" Rosalie exclaimed.  
"Bella got to choose hers, Rose, it's only fair!" Before she could interject again he inserted the dvd. She huffed in annoyance.

"Don't worry, you've got me if you get scared." Then like a puppy she nuzzled into his chest again.  
"I hate horror movies." Alice whispered.

"It's not even scary." I taunted her playfully. "Don't worry, I'll save you from the bad film making choices." This earned a giggle. I welled with pride, even puffing my chest slightly as Alice found her way closer into my body, her head resting on my shoulder.  
How the hell was I supposed to concentrate on the movie now?  
The movie started at a slow pace, but as it picked up I realised what a coincidental cliché it was to have Alice using me to shield her from the horrors on the screen. More like the horrors of the acting ability.

She clutched onto my arm, squeezing it tighter as the suspense heightened. With this my muscles clenched, it was overwhelming to have her so close, I began to feel things again, things I shouldn't. But I had to block them, if not from myself then at least from Jasper.

"Alice." I whispered too quietly for anyone else to hear.

Her fearful eyes met mine, and again I was captivated by her frightening beauty. My eyes indicated her hand, but I knew they pleaded for something unintended.

She looked confused, but I realised soon after that it was a vision.  
"What was it?" She didn't seem phased by whatever it was.

"Nothing." She said calmly, removing her hand in reply to my indication.

I felt lonely after that. She continued to flinch and turn away, but she didn't use me as protection. I started to take back the plead for her to stop, because now my inner voice was pleading for more attention. Instinctively my hand found its way into hers, she flinched ever so slightly and pretending not to care, let our hands fall into place. I rested them on my lower abdomen and I felt a finger slowly begin to caress below my stomach.

I was sure she felt my body stiffen, from the momentary pause, until she quickly started again. She'd done things like this before, it was nothing weird. We'd always touch each other, it was just an aspect of our close friendship and how comfortable we felt together.

But never before had my body acted on its own accord. I felt a burning sensation much lower down, something highly inappropriate and wrong. But I would make the mistake of letting it be.

Her scent became unbearable again, prevalent on my mind with accumulating thoughts of lust that wouldn't stop taunting me. I became blind again. My mind yelled for her to stop, but my body ached for her to do more. It was almost like she was teasing me.

Our fingers untangled, and I let them. Just like I let her soft little fingers dance their way down to the waistband of my shorts. She _wouldn't._ How the fuck was she keeping this from Edward? I glanced up and saw her eyes blankly fixated on the screen, obviously using every bit of willpower to keep her mind on the screen. But it was clear even in the darkness that her eyes were now black.

My teeth clenched as her fingers etched under the waistband, but only the tiniest bit, before she pulled them back. I saw a tiny smirk form on her mischievous little face. What a fucking hypocrite.

Now I was angry with desire.  
"Stop!" I ground through my teeth as quietly as I could.

"Don't dish it out if you can't take it." She breathed into my ear. My eyes closed as even stronger waves of pleasure elated my desire.

Her hand somehow made its way into my shorts. I bit down on my lip, trying with everything inside of me not to let my feelings consume me. The situation was too dangerous and that was only turning me on more.

Surely if Jasper couldn't sense my lust and Edward couldn't read Alice's mind then they could at least smell it from my pants.

She worked two fingers outside of my underwear, slowly caressing my slit. Embarrassingly enough I knew she could feel the wetness even from the outside. Her eagerness proved that as she pressed down with just enough force to cause electric shocks throughout my body.

I bit down harder. Concentrating on the movie, trying to feel fear more than the burning desire to be fucked. I didn't know how much longer either of us could contain it.

She began to rub. Fuck me dead. I would cum on the spot if she wasn't careful.

"Oh my.." I mouthed.. even if I had intended for words to come out they wouldn't have.

I dug my nails into her thigh, it was the only indicator of pleasure I had. I wanted her to stop, but at the same time it felt so good. The climax of the movie neared as my own did, everyone seemed too engrossed in the movie to notice something going on right under their noses.

Fire built, nearer and nearer. I needed more, my hips slightly rocked with her rubbing as it got faster and increased in pressure. I watched the movie, some girl had cut her throat and there was a flash. The movie had ended, and just as my own climax reached, the hand pulled away.

I looked, no, glared hatefully into her smug expression and knew it was definite. I_ hated _smug attitudes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's another, you guys really encourage me with reviews, so thank you so much. I hope you're liking this.  
**  
To say the least I concluded the night in a very sullen mood. I stubbornly refused to acknowledge Alice's presence for the last movie, to which she also very stubbornly pretended not to care, and to top it off, nuzzled Jasper and flirted with him as if that would make me jealous.

What was this anyway? I thought we'd finished our first and last game. Obviously I was wrong, and call me a masochist, but I had to admit I was enjoying the banter and the mind games. It was a big change from Edwards conventional ideas of what consists of a relationship.

Knowing well and true that it was wrong, I used Edward to match Alice's teasing. Even resorting to kissing him on the odd occasion to which she replied by doing the same to Jasper or something even more daring. It should have annoyed me, even made me a little queasy, but the further we teased and taunted each other, the more excited I became.

"Getting a bit excited there?" He ask desperately between short breaths of our fervent kissing.

"Well you did want a romantic night, didn't you?" I said quickly, realising Alice's hand was caressing just above Jaspers waistline. That was _my_ spot! I was slightly disgusted by his uncomfortable expression, as if to say _not now. _He was so not right for her. He slapped her arm away. Bastard!

"Don't touch her like that!" I heard someone say, how awkward. Oh shit, that was me.

His angry eyes met mine, and that was when I understood that he knew something. I could feel everyone else's eyes too, carefully surveying us both.

"And I suppose it's _your_ place to tell my how _I_ should treat _my_ wife?"

"You didn't have to hit her." I retorted bitterly.

"What's going on?" Carlisle spoke, creating a momentary pause between our staring competition.

"Nothing." I said. I really didn't want people prying into this, I already regretted speaking out of place especially when Rosalie was there and knew what was going on.

"Sorry Jasper, I guess it's just a newborn thing." I lied without even looking at him. The insincerity was obvious in my tone, but it cleared the air and put and end to the conversation.

"This movie's boring anyway, I'm going upstairs to rest." Without time for anyone to interrupt me, I followed my feet into my room with Edward thankfully not following me.

I lay awake wishing I could still sleep, but the more I closed my eyes and hoped, the more frustrated I felt. Sometimes I could fall into a state of rest, which is kind of like when you're half asleep. But never fully unaware of time, never dreaming.

I lay waiting for Edward to enter, as I knew he would eventually have to. And he did, and I pretended to be resting, then he pretended to believe it as he lay close next to me until dawn broke.

Today was the day before our engagement party. Yes, that's right, vampires acquire friends over hundreds of years, but none of which I knew or liked. So really it was just us. I wondered what we'd even do? Stand around and pretend to celebrate?

I walked downstairs to find Esme already planning decorations, Carlisle out at work, Emmett and Rosalie were out and Jasper and Alice were nowhere to be seen.

"Good morning!" Esme exclaimed excitedly, hugging me enthusiastically.

By now I was used to this, and routinely hugged her back and couldn't keep the smirk off my face even if I wanted to.

"Oh Bella! I'm just so excited. What do you think? Red streamers or blue?" Oh hell no. Neither.

"Um.." I couldn't find any words, but I couldn't bare the thought of ruining her fun. It'd be like depriving a child of a present at christmas. "Blue." Red reminded me of blood, and worse, love.

"Just what I was thinking!" She then scurried off back into her study to plan some more as I watched her im amusement. Shaking my head I walked over to sit down on the couch as I did every morning to watch TV.

I turned on The Simpsons. They never got old.

"So." A girlish voice rang much closer than I'd expected.

Alice plopped down next to me, seemingly in a very merry mood which annoyed and confused me. I was still pissed off by what she did last night, and now she was acting oblivious?

"We _have_ to go shopping for something for you to wear tomorrow!" She was practically jumping up and down. But I continued to watch The Simpsons, in all of my stubborn glory.

"Hello? Earth to Bella?" She waved her petite hand in front of my face, finally I faced her. My gut wrenched at the sight of her beautiful face, even in the damn morning she stayed perfect.

Her short black hair was dishevelled in a sexy way, and her flawless skin was poreless and perfect even without makeup. Not to mention, if I dared let my eyes drift, she wore a tight singlet top and thigh revealing pyjama shorts that could make the deadest of hearts skip a beat.

I let myself become flustered by the sight, immediately ripping my eyes away and hiding my face by pretending to turn back to the TV. Not smooth at all.

I mentally begged her not to giggle, but she did, and I melted.

"Come onnnn". She whined adorably, shaking my arm. I felt a shock pass through her hand into my nerves and then always ending between my legs.

"Okay!" I gave in, just to make the embarrassing feeling stop.

"But no more than an hour, or I wont be happy." I warned, getting slightly closer to her face to emphasise my point.

"Oh no, angry Bella, that'd be a change." She teased playfully, mimicking me by getting slightly closer so that we were about 3 inches away.

"You're pushing it pixie." I backed away subconsciously and sat with my back comfortably against the lounge.

"No time to rest, we're going now."

"Damn a.d.d pixies." I muttered.

"Oh shut up." She slapped my thigh lightly. I very sadly wished she'd do it again in a different context, and perhaps a but further up.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a slight seriousness in her voice.

"What?" I suddenly snapped out of my daze to face her. "Oh, right. Well I was just wondering why you think you have the right to be demanding me around after what you did last night."

There was a very slight pause, I saw lip curl.

"We're even now."

"Not nearly. That was cruel." I argued, now facing her again, sitting up a little straighter in my alert state.

"Well what you did was worse." She said, her auburn eyes sparkling with the truth.

"Yeah, making you cum must have been really unpleasant." She went to respond but no words came out. Because that was the truth. My folded arms finalised the argument.

"Lets just go to the shops." She said, pursing her lips in annoyance. She was so cute when she was wrong.

The car ride was silent for a while, but her moods changed as much as mine, so we were compatible that way.

"You look really nice." I said, surveying her outfit. I wondered if she chose it just to seduce me, but that was probably wishful thinking. She wore a short, black dress that showed off her cleavage more than was bearable and more leg than my mind could comprehend. I could have jumped her on the spot.

"Your eyes aren't telling me _nice_." She joked.

"Well probably because they should be on the road." She rolled her eyes then averted them back to the empty lane. Now my eyes were free to roam.

I hadn't fed in almost a day now, and my patience was wearing thin. I realised how stupid I'd been to have let her convince me to be around humans. Obviously I wasn't thinking.

We were already there now, and she was looking for a car spot. This wasn't going to be easy, I'd just have to focus my energies on something else. Too bad that thing was more tempting and more dangerous than human blood.

She got out of the car, and I watched as her dress rose slightly, revealing even more to my hungry eyes. Before she noticed I got out of the car and walked beside her, but distanced enough to not smell her.

She took me to an expensive dress shop, nothing was priced less than $200 I was sure.

"Is something this expensive really necessary?" I asked her, but she'd already found me two dresses to try on.

Without answering she handed them to me and shooed me into a dressing room, I complied just to satisfy her. Maybe she'd get over it if I just tried one on and bought it.

The first one was electric blue and strapless. It gathered just below the upper thigh then more material fell to not make my ass look so big. Not that it even was.

I looked wearily into the mirror, it suited my shape, but dresses were alien to me.

"Do you have one on?" She sang.

"Yeah.." The curtain suddenly flew open to Alice's critical expression.

"It's nice." She finally spoke after slowly looking me over. "Turn." At first I wouldn't comply but she urged me.

"Your ass looks amazing." I choked and felt a little hot after her comment, today wouldn't be hard to excite me.

"Really?" I played along. "What about my boobs?" I groped them, small as they were a strapless dress always accentuated them.

"Hmm." She stepped forward to get a closer look at them. "Let me see." She slipped her fingers around the back of the dress to see if it was too loose, but it was exactly right.

"Maybe we should get you a strapless bra to give them more shape." Her talking about and staring at my boobs was getting me excited, and now she was suggesting bra shopping. Oh sweet Jesus.

"So you like the dress?" My voice broke a bit.

"Yes. It's perfect. Don't even try on the other one." Well that was easy. She quickly closed the curtains for me again and I got dressed back into my much less superior skinny jeans and white T-shirt.

I followed her to the counter and she bought me the dress, I walked away from the lady serving us, the smell of blood was too much. I focused solely on Alice, but that didn't help me much either.

"Bras." She proclaimed, I was going to suggest she try one, but I think I'd go insane.

She found an expensive lingerie shop. I walked past g-strings and seductive outfits and wondered of all the crazy fantasies, Alice in lingerie. I could have came just thinking about it. But instead I drooled absurdly.

"What about this one?" She suggested a white one with lace.

"Too much." I said. "Get skin colour or something." She gave me a bored expression then less enthusiastically picked out a skin colour one.

"What do you have there?" She asked from behind.

"God! You scared me!" I turned. Oh how embarrassing, I was looking at outfits.

"Oooooh." She picked up the corset with a garter belt and ogled at it.

"I didn't know you and Edward were into that." _No idiot, I was picturing you in it._

"Uh, we're not." She looked confused.

I wanted to tell her, but I didn't have the courage.

"I think it's more your thing anyway. All girly and stuff.." I said awkwardly, hoping she'd admit to a secret stash of lingerie and naughty outfits. But my fantasy was ruined by her silence.

"You'd like to know."

"Probably." I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing." I smirked. "Just that I'm sure Jasper would love it."

"Edward would love it even more." She sounded different now. Please don't tell me that was _the voice. _Nonetheless I felt a heat form between my thighs.

"Maybe I could try it on and you could tell me if he'd like it or not." I suggested out of nowhere. I thought it was a joke but apparently my hormones and hers combined took it seriously. Because somehow I was lead to a changing room and ended up starring at myself dressed in kinky lingerie. Not good, but oh so good. I took a minute to take the sight in, I looked, different.

She didn't ask if I was done this time, this time I opened the door for her. I saw her eyes widen ever so slightly before she regained her critical composure. I felt so exposed but it was worth it.

"Edward-" She whispered, coming dangerously close to my body. "Is a very, _very_ lucky man." Her warm breath made me shudder, as it always did, and I could practically taste her arousal, or wished I could. Her fingers traced the corset and then teasingly snapped the strap connecting the stockings and the silky, white lingerie underwear. But she wouldn't get away with it this time.

"So do I look fuckable?" A bit of vulgar language never hurt anyone. "I mean, I don't know about the bottoms, they're not that revealing." I played with them, digging my thumbs into them, pulling them down a bit. I saw Alice bite her lip. God I love it when she does that, it meant I was getting to her.

"I think they'd be off before he even had time to acknowledge them."

"But what do _you _think?" Dangerous question, but I was feeling confident in my current status.

I turned to face her still playing around with the underwear.

"I don't think it's my opinion that counts." Oh so that's how she was going to play it.

"Yeah, but I need an objective point of view. Just incase I'm wrong." She didn't object, and seemed to be searching for words to retort.

"Well if I were Edward, my boner would probably be obstructing my view so much that I wouldn't even notice how skimpy your panties are. But if somehow I noticed, it'd just make me want to remove them quicker and- yeah." I almost asked her to keep going, but my invisible boner was obstructing my damn thoughts.

"Thanks- I'll, uh, try the bras on." She nodded quickly then left the room. I gathered my thoughts and detached the corset and kept the bottoms, suspenders and all.

I opened the door once again, realising it probably wasn't necessary just for a bra, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Yeah, it fits." She said quickly, hardly looking at my chest. She was looking at my legs, the sly fox.

"Ok." I replied, suddenly closing the door. I had an urge to get this trip over with, the need to take Alice against the wall of a dressing room was growing way out of control.

We bought the lingerie and telepathically decided to leave the mall.

We made it to the car. I was free of blood, but not of lust. The small space only made her scent more appealing. I felt my whole body tense, all of the energy and tolerance exploded and vanished. I grit my teeth together and opened the window for air as she started the engine.

"Wow, Bella are you okay?" She placed a hand on my shoulder.

_Fuckkkkkkkkk, don't touch me if you want your pussy to live. _"I'm fine." I said through gritted teeth.

"Bella, look at me." She turned my chin.

"Your eyes are so black. When was the last time you fed?" I began to shake.

"Almost a day." If only she knew it wasn't that.

"And I haven't had sex since I fucked you." I could see concern, confusion and a slight twinge of fear in her eyes.

"Calm down, Bella. You just need to feed okay, lets get you home."

"NO!" I yelled, stopping her from reversing the car, she looked genuinely shocked now. But I felt so alive and hungry. Hungry for her, again. The feeling was maddening, I couldn't even comprehend left, right, up or down. Only the need to have my way with her.

"Please.." I whimpered.

"Please what?" She stammered, sitting rigid in her seat.

"I fucking need you.." I felt my body gravitate towards her, oh God her scent was alluring. My whole body was on fire.

"Bella.." She warned, her voice very stern.

"I know you want it just as much as I do.." My hand fell onto her thigh as I moved closer. "I can see it in your eyes and I can smell it." Her eyes squeezed shut and her hands gripped the seat as my lips found the spot behind her ear, then my tongue, which found her neck.

"I-I though we promised it was only one time."

'That was until you decided teasing my clit would be a good idea!" I said, aggressively gripping her thigh as I continued sucking her neck.

"And I know you were wet watching me in that lingerie." My hand teased her inner thigh, thank god she was wearing a dress. "You still are." I whispered, letting my fingers graze the outside of her soaking underwear. "You're always wet for me you little slut." I knew she loved when I talked dirty to her, somehow her hips would buck or she'd let out a small moan. This time she did both.

"I think you want me, Alice." I teased, nipping her jaw and teasing her thighs again. I wanted to be closer to her, feel her under me. "I know you want me to fuck you, and lick your dripping cunt." She let out a very audible moan this time and surprised me by grabbing my wrist to pull it closer to her wet panties.

"Naughty Alice. You should know better than that, after all you are a great teacher." My own pussy was drenched by now and I could feel it on my thighs, I took advantage of her position and straddled her before she could object or push me away. It wasn't easy in the small space, but I made it so that I was on my knees, straddled around her waist.

"I bet you want to know how wet I am." Her hands attempted to touch me but much like last time I found her wrists and pinned them above her head again. "No touching." I demanded, carefully letting go of her wandering hands which now stayed glued to her sides.

"God, Alice. You make me so fucking horny." Knowing it would drive me mad if she'd done it, I let my hand slide into my own underwear and stroke my wet slit, brushing lightly over my throbbing clit. Having her all wide eyed and moaning below me only made me more aroused.

"I love it when you say my name." She rasped, trying to create friction with her hips but it wasn't working. She was so horny and helpless, I wondered if she could be more of a masochist than I was.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah.." She moaned, fuck I loved her moans. Her face and her eyes were completely contorted with lust, she looked so beautiful, I wanted to kiss her, but for some reason I couldn't.

"Fuck yourself." She demanded. Who was in charge here?

But I had to comply, it worked for both of us I admitted. I felt my fingers slide inside of my wet, hot core, all three with such ease, even I was a little surprised. But her gaping jaw was most amusing.

"Oh my God- Oh my-" I don't know what it was about the situation, the taboo of the public setting, the revenge or the pure feeling of ecstasy I felt from her reaction of me fucking myself for her. But I felt determined.

I increased the speed and began to fuck myself while watching her watch me. It was so crazy that I became almost too excited, I could feel an orgasm building, my legs and thighs began to twitch every now and then.

"I want to taste you." Alice demanded, her eyes fully black and she was almost tearing the seat from below her with her clenched fists. I loved seeing her beg like this and she knew it.

"You've been bad."

"Let me taste it." She whined desperately.

"No." I continued to penetrate myself, feeling my finger go deeper every time I heard her voice.

"Fuck yourself harder." She pleaded.

"Don't tell me what to do." I pushed her hard, but not too hard by her throat against the car chair, she moaned at my aggression and I saw the want swirl in her eyes.

"Kiss me while you cum." She demanded again.

"I said, stop." I tightened my grip. "Bad girl."

"_Please _let me eat you out.." Her words tempted me, so, so much, but its a test I would pass, however damn sexy she sounded asking me nicely.

"Uh, uh." I teased. I felt my orgasm build, I took my fingers out for a minute to rub my clit but then I had an idea.

"Here, you wanted to taste it." I held my fingers to her lips, smirking. But was caught by surprise again as she took them into her mouth with a very sexy eagerness. She sucked and licked them desperately, licking off every last bit. Taking them out of her mouth, moist with her saliva I put them back into my cunt again, this time moaning as I saw her lick her lips.

"How do I taste?" I moaned.

"You taste so fucking good baby.." _Baby? Oh I like that. _With that I felt a shock of pleasure, I was close, fucking faster and faster every second, getting wetter and wetter, I couldn't take it, it felt too good.

Just when I thought things couldn't be more perfect, I heard a phone ring. It was mine. I would not pick up, whoever it was better say their prayers, I looked at the phone, it was Edward. Mother fucker.

"You should take it." Alice sighed.

I sighed as well, answering the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella. Where are you? You've been ages, are you almost home?" Oh fuck you, I was so fucking close.

"Yeah, we're on our way home now."

"Oh okay, see you soon."

"Bye." I hung up. What a fucking bastard, it wasn't even important. I felt beyond angry.

"Yeah.. we should go." Alice said.

"But-"

"In a way Bella, it's probably for the best." Yeah, right, _probably. _

_Probably _not okay for my sanity or my sexual outlet.

I peeled myself off her and sat angrily and quietly in my seat until we got back. Edward would pay, and as for Alice, I don't even know.


	4. Chapter 4

I was in a foul mood when we arrived home, but with all of my effort I played it off as if nothing had happened. But knowing me, that wouldn't work.

"Hey." Edward cooed, taking me into a loving hug intent with ownership.

"Uh, hi." I muffled through his shirt which by the way was saturated in the most overbearing aftershave. You'd think he'd be smart enough to think of how strong our scent was, but that was just wrong.

I pulled myself away from his body like a dog who'd sniffed nail polish, which earned me a confused and hurt glare.

"Sorry, you just smell strong." He sniffed his shirt and didn't seem to be bothered in the slightest. He shrugged his shoulders and continued watching me with curiosity.

"You're the one that smells strong." He stepped closer to sniff me, then cringed away.

I saw Alice's eyes shift anxiously meeting my own then just as quickly tore them away again back to Jasper.

"Must be human smell or something." I lied. "Which reminds me, I haven't fed in ages.. I'll be back soon." I made my subtle exit, leaving Edward slightly bemused.

After I'd hunted and was finally satisfied with my bloated tummy, I decided to go back home. Although I never looked forward being around anyone anymore. Rosalie knew too much, Jasper knew _something _and Edward was bound to find out from Alice's thoughts, eventually.

I sneaked into the house as discreetly as I could and attempted to find I quiet space. It sucked sharing a bedroom sometimes. Although it did make me wonder more about Edward, I couldn't suddenly just turn on him like this, but I was finally finding some excitement. Don't get me wrong, sex with him isn't all bad, but it's not exciting anymore. It worried me a bit. Would I not enjoy sex with him anymore? Or had I just been too caught up with these acts with Alice not to think about it? I pushed it out of my mind. Alice was just a game, she knew that, we both did. I think.

"Hey." Came a smooth, cool voice.

I turned from standing rather indiscreetly in the middle of the foyer to see Rosalie standing at the front door. I assumed she'd been hunting as well.  
"Hi." I replied in mock niceness. Giving her a forced, sarcastic smile.

"Have fun _shopping_?"

"Why? Fantasising about me again? Really, Rose, give it a rest. I'm taken." Oh sarcasm, the most effective annoyance device.

"Perhaps you should remember that." Bitch, she had me there. I pretended to not be effected. We stood staring at each other for a while, tension building by the second.

"My question, is, why Alice?" She genuinely looked confused. It made me want to scoff.

"Then who else? Jasper? Emmett? _You?_" I snorted, her eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Well at least I'd be a better fuck." Oh no she didn't, I felt myself step forward as my defensive side kicked in.

"What makes you think that?" She mirrored me, stepping slightly closer. She was still taller than me, but not by much. Not enough to intimidate me. Well, maybe a bit.

"Trust me. I just know."

"No, if you're so confident about it then just tell me." Yeah that's right, I'm not anyone's little bitch, I stood in front of her now, practically nose to nose, inches away. My voice hushed but the meaning and intent was still lethal as ever.

"Don't get too excited. Wouldn't wanna cheat on your girlfriend now."

"Don't get too imaginative, wouldn't wanna get too turned on by the thought." Our banter only became more heated, too bad for her it was merely amusing to me. She actually started to look angry.

"Watch what you say. Remember I could choose to tell anyone at any time. So you better keep me pleased." I couldn't help but extract a sexual innuendo out of her little speech, but maybe it was just the sudden intoxicating closeness I felt between our bodies or the rising intensity in her voice.

Whatever it was it was wrong. Like everything else in the past few days, damn lack of self control. Stupid damn newborn instincts. I wondered how much longer I could use that excuse.  
"So how do you like to be pleased?" I asked with a hint of ridicule in my tone.  
She took a dangerous step towards me now, so that our bodies touched and our noses almost brushed. I ignored the heat gathering between my legs, it was so wrong. Fuck my taboo fetish.

"You'll find out." She whispered, and for a moment of delirious dizziness I could have sworn I saw her eyes hover over my lips before she disappeared into nothingness a second later.

I stood in that spot for a good moment, almost frozen in shock. If I had known being a vampire meant this, I would have ran the fuck away and never stopped running. This was madness.

"Bella?" I heard Edward call from the bottom of the stairs.

Ah, shit fuck.

"Yeah?" I put on my sweetest voice and most innocent face.

"Oh there you are." He smirked and walked calmly towards me. I actually didn't mind his normality after the crazy events of the past two days.

"I wanted to ask you about something." His tone became serious. I froze again in shock, the first thing that came to mind was Alice. I was _so_ glad he couldn't read my mind.

"And what is that?" I asked. I could sense his nervousness, something was wrong. I could have ran, I even may have contemplated it until he opened his mouth to speak again, and after what he said, screw running, I wanted to barge through the wall and fly away.

"I wanted to do something.. special for tomorrow night." He couldn't even look me in the eye. Jesus, I could not stand his awkwardness when it came to sex. No wonder I was so easy when it came to Alice, there's no talking about it or awkwardness, just fire.

"Oh.." I said as if I'd understood him. He smiled nervously, I almost rolled my eyes.

"And you're telling me becauseee?"

"Well we just haven't.. you know.." He held out his hands in a completely random gesture. "In a while." Just say it you pussy, we haven't fucked in a while, yes because I've been fucking Alice. I slapped my thoughts.

"Yeah. Sure, well we'll-" I held out my hands in his previous gesture. We shared an awkward laugh. It was as if we hardly knew each other anymore. Maybe the change changed more than my looks and eating habits.

I was the first to break the silence by walking away with my eyebrows slightly raised. Weird shit's going on lately I tell ya.

Now I would have to prepare myself for Edward, I thought of the lingerie bought by Alice and thought on it for almost a whole minute. Sometime inside of me didn't want to tarnish it by letting Edward see me in it, it seemed odd, like he wouldn't appreciate it in the right way.

I found myself knocking on Alice's door. "Come in." She called.

I opened the door and saw her sitting at her desk, presumably working on some art piece. She turned and faced me, she knew it would be me, I could see it in her eyes. I suppose you come to expect it though, with a psychic. Now that I wondered about it, she hadn't seemed to have had any visions lately, or not that I was aware of, I wondered if I should ask her about it.

"Yes?" She asked coldly.

"Whoa what's up with the attitude?" She folded her arms and turned away on her wheelie chair. I should have been annoyed, but she looked cute when she was angry.

"Nothing." She murmured.

"God, you're hopeless at hiding your feelings."

"I must have learnt it off you." My eyebrows creased as I watched her, confusion wrought all over my face. She didn't look at me, she only did that if she was really angry.

"Any reason you're here?" She asked distantly.

"Well yeah but I can't talk about it _now_." Immature, but true.

"Is this to do with your visions? Can't you see things anymore?" She laughed at my ignorance then swung around again with a twisted smile on her face that showed anything but joy.

"It's what I _can_ see." She stated pointedly.

The large, open room around me suddenly grew a lot smaller and more cluttered.

"W-what did you see?" My voice shook embarrassingly.

"Your conversations with Rosalie and Edward and-"

"And?" Her eyes clenched shut and she seemed to be struggling with something before they snapped back open and were full of a different emotion that I assumed to be resentment, but I couldn't be sure.

"Nothing." That always meant something. Something too unbelievable to say. I wanted to know, but then again it could have been something bad.

"Fine. But I don't see what's so bad about what Rosalie and Edward said."

"Oh that's none of my business, just have sex with everyone in the family, how moral."

"Okay for one, Edward is my fiance' I can fuck him all I like and two, if you think I'd ever screw with Rosalie then you've got some serious issues." I only realised I'd come so close to towering over her that I was almost on top of her now. I think I have proximity problems.

She sniffed with bitter laughter and shook her head whilst looking down. "How about this?" She spat, standing up against me now, and even though she was shorter she was still scary as shit. "One, you wont be using me for sex anymore and two, good luck getting an orgasm from Edwards soft cock." Then she physically pushed me back a few metres as to throw me out of the room but I was too strong. I gathered myself and stood up with pride.

"You know what's the funniest part of this?" I rhetorically asked her. "You, acting as if you don't get off on what we're doing. I see it in your eyes, I hear it in your moans, I feel it in the scratches on my back and the wetness between your legs-"

"Stop it!" She whispered, shifting her eyes as if people would hear. "There is nothing between us as of now." I just couldn't believe her. Maybe I should just let her wait and figure it out.

"Fine. But we both know how long that will last-"

"Bella. You're getting married for christs sake-"

"You_ are_ married for christs sake!" I tried to keep my voice quiet but now she was just being a hypocrite.

"That's why I'm ending it." She said desperately, and then I realised I couldn't continue doing this. The torment was too much for me to watch. I watched her eyes dance with sparkling diamonds, and wished that they were for me to look into. But fate works in evil ways. We were meant to be best friends, that's it.

But if that was the truth, then why, every time I look at her to I feel more alive than I ever have looking at Edward? I forced myself to believe it was just the context of our affair.

"Okay." I admitted finally. "You're right, you always were. This was never going to work." I tried to keep the rejection out of my voice and demeanour but I just couldn't. It felt heartbreaking to be doing this, again. But this time it felt worse because I knew it'd be the final judgement.

We stood for what seemed days. Just looking at each other. I took the time to explore her heart wrenching beauty for the last time in my current frame of mind. I knew if I looked any longer I wouldn't be able to let it go. So I looked away, and so did she. I knew we felt the same.

I turned to leave, but a soft tug on my wrist stopped me, my stomach lurched and I reluctantly turned around only to have my lips captured in a soft and lasting kiss. The feeling it gave me reminded me why I didn't want to kiss her earlier on. The worst thing I ever did was pull away, and seeing her face fall.

'I-I'm sorry." I wanted to cry, but no tears would come. Her hand was still grasped around my wrist and the thought of her lips against mine was more tempting than anything I'd ever felt before. Her expression broke my heart a million times over. She was pleading, but also questioning me, but I had no answers and I couldn't comply. She was fucking with my emotions, I couldn't take it.

I pulled my wrist from her grasp and then left the room before my body could drag me back in there and do something I would regret.

I fell to the floor, my fists pulling at my hair as everything inside of me fell apart. I begged for tears, or some form of outlet, but nothing came.

"What the hell are you doing?" My head shot up, and I was sure the rage in my eyes would be enough to kill that blonde bitch on the spot but she just stood there looking down at me.

My fists remained clenched as I stood to my feet, watching her intently, hoping she'd show some kind of fear or at least remorse for what a bitch she was. But there was nothing, only her dead, black eyes. I'd make her fucking feel something alright, with my fucking fist to her face.

Before I could refrain my anger my fist plummeted into her face cracking her beautiful features. But before I could comprehend what I'd done and who to, I felt a force twice as hard as my own punch back into my now broken face. It took seconds to recover, but my anger only grew. We both stood in fighting stance, waiting for the other to attack, I saw no fear in her eyes and I know she saw none in mine.

Our eyes were in an unwavering battle, I didn't dare look away or even blink. I felt my lip curl and small growl emit from behind my gritted teeth.

My sadness about Alice and anger for Rosalie imploded in a cataclysmic moment as I threw my hands around Rosalie's neck and kneed her in the stomach so that she fell back onto the floor with myself now straddling her as I raised my arm to show her once and for all what a bitch I could be.

But before I could, someone yanked my arm away and I was pulled back onto my feet, allowing Rosalie to stand free and snarl at me before she turned and walked away. I gave her a warning look, this wasn't nearly over then turned to see the sorry ass who'd prevented my revenge.

Edward. None other, of course.

"Thanks but I was handling that fine on my own." I pulled my arm back and went to find her, but his hand fell on my shoulder and spun me around.

"Bella, stop it!" My mind involuntarily flashed back to moments before when Alice had uttered those words. Hers stung more, but his words reminding me of her hurt equally as much if not more.

"Fuck off." I spat. "And don't touch me." I slapped his hand away aggressively and stormed off. He obviously knew what was good for him because he didn't follow me.

Now it was time to finish what I'd started. I didn't even knock as I entered her room, and it seemed she was expecting me because she was standing with her feet shoulder length apart, both arms to her sides with her fists clenched and she did not look happy to say the least.

I slowly closed the door behind me so enhance my intimidating facade. Then turned on the spot to face her. I took in her appearance as we stood in deadly silence and as always she looked 'perfect'. With her perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body, God damn her perfect fucking body, don't even get me started, and I hated that it appealed to me, how could it not? Fuck me dead I was attracted to her, in every sickening way possible, and I despised her for it.

I despised that hitting her wouldn't achieve anything, and that I wasn't doing it for any reason other than for my own twisted sadomasochism.

It frustrated me that I didn't know if she knew this or not, and worse that I didn't know whether I wanted her to know or not. Either way, knowing I had no sexual connection with Alice anymore, set sail for a new adventure, one more dangerous and stormy. One that may physically harm me worse than my previous venture, but could never emotionally harm me as Alice had, because there were no feelings, only physical attraction.

It felt like forever we stood there, and I wondered how or why she had not spoken, but it didn't matter to me.

"So you got into a fight with your fuck buddy?" She asked, her face hardly changing as she spoke and her tone stayed completely undetectable. She was a master of mind games, which I let her play.

"A mutual agreement." I corrected. It earned no angered response.

"Of what?" If only she knew I played this game too.

"That's for only us to know." She laughed, oh so slightly and I relished in her devious smirk. I let it seduce me, along with all the other elements of her charm.

"Perhaps you should recall our own agreement." Her movement caught me off guard and she began to walk towards me, I pretended to feel intimidated, but let myself want her closeness. I resented myself in that moment, so I had nothing to lose.

"Fucking newborns, you will go to any lengths to get what you desire and then pity yourself." I heard nothing besides her vindictive tone and felt nothing but the desire she'd accused me of. I wanted her angrier and I wanted to be treated like shit, because I did pity myself, and I deserved it. Her anger only turned me on, as did her body which now wasn't as close as it was before.

I thought of Alice and I thought of Edward, two people I'd ruined everything with, the two most important people to me. Rosalie would never betray her mate as I did to mine though, and I'd only be ruining another relationship, but nothing could deter the determination my instincts felt as they fed on the sight, sound, and smell of her seductive charm. Now I wanted to touch and taste it.

Without any preconceived thoughts my body lurched forward, my hands latched onto her silky, blonde hair and pulled it without mercy as I pressed my lips angrily against hers. I felt the fire again and my deluded thoughts only went further. Though she didn't kiss back, this only encouraged me. She grabbed me by the hips, electrocuting my nerves as she drove me into the wall glaring daggers into my non existent soul, her eyes were so full of repulsion, but I knew we were on equal ground in both aspects, I could see the desire swimming in her black eyes, unlike before when they were dead.

I was so used to being the dominant one that the switched role made me realise how gratifying and sexy it can be to let someone fuck you without mercy, and I knew I would get it hard.

"How does Alice fuck you?" She whispered, her voice stinging with spite.

"I fuck her." I answered shamefully. This widened her malicious smile, making me crave everything she was planning to do to me and more.

She pressed her body hard against mine and began thrusting herself against my hips. My head fell back in pleasure, opening my neck to her skilful mouth. There were no soft beginnings with Rosalie, only horny impatience, which already earned an unintentional moan from me.

She worked her mouth expertly, like it was an art. Her lips hastily attacked my neck, as her hands began wandering my body. It was all so much at once, I could hardly take it, her tongue found my neck, and so did her teeth, she lightly nipped all the right places, knowing just where to make me jump or gasp, sending shock waves directly into my lower body.  
Her lips made their way to my ear as her hands made their way onto my thigh, desperately scratching and tugging at my pants, then unexpectedly roughly cupping and rubbing the outside of my pants, feeling the building warmth and wetness between my legs as her hips still rocked against me. She knew what she was doing, and I wanted more. I hadn't been fucked properly in so long.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" She teased, rubbing my throbbing clit with every involuntary rock of my hips. I wondered if she'd fucked girls before, or if she just knew things.

"Do-you-want-me-to-fuck-you?" She demanded impatiently. But I wanted to make her angry. She restrained all contact with my body and I made the mistake of attempting to pull her close to me again, but my arm was violently hit away.

"Yes!" I finally admitted. "Yes, please.." I said more desperately. "Please.." she waited extra long to compensate for my lack of response, and I became slightly annoyed at how well she knew to tease.

"Oh God, please, fuck me.." She didn't look at me with love or care as Edward or Alice would, instead I could see I was merely a toy for her own pleasure. But I was fine with it, I wanted it, so, so badly.

Again she touched my body and I felt the need for her grow between my legs with every second that passed.

"Take your pants off." She stated, simply but coming from her I wouldn't dare argue.

I peeled them off in an instant in the hope she'd cut to the chase. She got to her knees, to my surprise and ran her amazing marble hands along my thighs and almost nuzzled my pussy as she slowly ran over my panties with her lips, then bit the elastic and let it snap. There was nothing sexier than seeing her on her knees and her head between my thighs, I could have cum from one lick, but I knew she'd make me wait.

She grasped my ass as she buried her face deeper into my groin, and sexier than anything I'd ever seen or heard before I heard her moan ever so lightly as she licked the outside of my wet panties. The noise mixed with the sensation excited me. Usually Edward would just get to fucking me, but I realised in that moment I'd never experienced the excruciating pleasure of foreplay.

The heat of the moment swept all rational thinking away and my hands clutched her hair to apply any more possible pressure between my legs, I was so desperate that I trust my hips as if fucking someone to produce some kind of friction. Even though she was below me she still assumed dominance, the minute I began attempting to control her I felt a sharp slap hit my ass, hitching my breath and awakening the beast within. I wanted to hear her sweet moan again, and her raspy, horny voice.

"You're so wet." She said, letting a finger run along the wet patch that had formed since she'd began teasing me.

"Lick me out.." I gasped, which was intended to be far more demanding than the desperate plea it turned out as.

I'd never said succumb to such things before, only demanded them of others, so right now was a whole new experience.

"Say please."

"Please!" she waited again. "Please lick me out.." I begged, and finally she ripped my underwear off as if she'd been waiting as impatiently as me.

As soon as she threw them in a random direction I felt my whole body stiffen and my fists clench in her hair and her smooth tongue slid along my pussy, soaking up all of my cum. She attacked it as soon as she made contact, I don't think I'd ever felt so close to orgasm so quickly ever before in my life. She began straight on my clit, licking, then sucking then biting, so intensely I could have sworn she was enjoying it almost as much as me.

I felt her tongue move down into my hole, and at first I was shocked but the pure feeling of ecstasy I felt upon her tongue entering my cunt was more pleasurable than a penis had ever felt. I began to thrust again, pushing her tongue further inside of me as her nails dug painfully into my ass, the further it went in the more I began to moan, but I knew I couldn't, people were home. This was more than risky. I bit down on my lip and breathed out of my nose, but it was still obvious how close I was getting. I wanted to know what it was like to taste my cum off her tongue, only to further torture myself I pulled her up by her hair, which by the way gave me great satisfaction then connected with her wet lips.

I let my tongue explore her mouth earlier than what was polite, but I couldn't restrain myself. It tasted so good off her tongue, I devoured every last bit in a desperate frenzy. Our tongues were in a battle that never seemed to end, but I wasn't complaining, the girl was right, she could fuck and she could certainly kiss.

Her fingers somehow throughout our make out session found their way inside of me. I accidentally bit down on her tongue causing her to cringe and push her fingers angrily and painfully all the way inside of me.

I couldn't even comprehend how many were inside of me, only that it'd been so long since I'd had that penetration from someone else other than myself.

"You're so tight." She rasped against my ear. I pulled her hair again, it was the only thing keeping me sane as she fucked me into oblivion. Her fingers were so fast, and so goddamn deep, I was so wet that I could hear my cum as she fucked me, I felt my insides convulse like crazy around her fingers, I was completely throbbing, I even felt my body begin to twitch and shake.

"Faster.." I moaned, and this time I heard her moan back, and I knew it was real because it sounded so restrained and high, like she was trying so hard to keep it hidden. Fuck, it was hot.

I felt her thrust against my thigh, rubbing her cunt under her skirt against my bare leg. My vision left me as everything turned black, I could feel how wet she was, and she so desperately thrust against me, she was going to cum and I was seconds away from it myself. I felt her hot breath on my shoulder, she kept fucking me mercilessly, I couldn't see a thing and I felt nothing but pleasure, it was like an orgasm that wouldn't end even though I knew it hadn't started. It was almost painful how good it felt.

"Keep going.." I urged, meaning both the fucking and the thrusting, I didn't know which was making me more horny.

I heard her whimper and moan, so unlike any noise I could have imagined her making. It was so real that I couldn't take it anymore, her teeth found my shoulder and bit down, hard. I couldn't let her cum without my help. My fingers found their way inside her soaked underwear, and she didn't attempt to stop me. My own body reacted with hers as three fingers slid so easily inside of her dripping pussy, we were both breathing, biting and whimpering in order to stop from crying out, and after waiting for so long I finally exploded. Initially I thought I'd passed out but Rosalie's scratching down my back made me realise I was still conscious, if the first wave of pleasure wasn't enough there was a second that was even more powerful.

"Fuck.." I breathed, I couldn't make any louder sound, her fingers were still inside me and fucking me and I realised she was cumming with me.

My head fell back followed by nonsensical thoughts which came into my head as I rode wave after wave of pleasure, forgetting completely where I was or what I was doing.

"Alice.." I moaned. "Fuck me.." But the fucking stopped and after a few more seconds I came to the sickening realisation of my mistake.

Just like that the hatred was back in Rosalie's eyes more than ever and for once I felt bad for causing it. I didn't know what to even say, I just knew I'd fucked up.


End file.
